I don't work at Thorpe Park anymore by the way.

And not because my season ended, because I quit! Yes, that's right, I'm a loose cannon, A CRAZY MOFO doing things because I can.

I'm now Alice, yes, Alice, and I am in wonderland before you make a joke.

So basically yeah, I'm in a theatre company called Proteus, and I've been touring round the country in a van putting on performances for you filthy animals.

If you want to literally see me jumping down rabbit holes and doing other weird crap, look at this:

http://www.proteustheatre.com/?page=AliceTourSchedule

Happychristmasbutterballs

I work at Thorpe Park by the way

Since it's almost over and the season rushes to an end, now may be a good time to say if you ever get sad that I'm crap at my blog, and feel the need to hear my beautiful words, come on down to the Park of Thorpe, and as I'm pushing down that bar on The Flying Fish, or waving you off as you go whizzing down Nemesis inferno...

Just remember: this is my full time job, and I've a very short temper

Something something, butterballs.

My life at the moment, not that you care. Jerk.

Hey everyone! Yesterday, I went to topshop and bought some clothes. That's all I have to say there really.

Yep.

Anyway, even weirder at this bloody place (Topshop on Oxford Street) They had maps.. Like, a map to the shop? What?! I know it's London but what the lump?

Totally weird but whatever, that was my day out I guess. 

Anyhoo, one of the reason for my random buying, very unlike me and something that only happens on special occasions is that I have a new job! And it's a cool job too. So as a present to the very few people reading this, next time you come on this blog, there will be a little New job post just like the original Debenhams post. What a hoot.

Well, um. Bye guys

Happy reading butterballs.

MOTHER'S DAY.

Presents.

I don't usually put a lot of effort into presents, on mothers/fathers day, usually a card and some chocolate, maybe a piece of soap. However, for some reason (Procrastination probably) I decided to put some effort into this mothers day.

Step one:

First of all I decided to make her a card, so I cut out a cute little heart (pretty rough to start out, no template) and then smooth the edges out by cutting around it, keeping them connected I planned for the card to open on a fold.

Step 2 (The accidental step)

                                                                                                             Of course that went wrong and I managed slicing the fold that connected the two parts of the card. Typical, so I had to work out a new way to connect the two pieces. 

My first thought was obviously cellotape, because really, what can't that solve! But alas, no such luck. For we had none, and I realised it wouldn't look great anyway..

But the I got the simply BRILLIANT idea of SEWING.

Wow, yeah because actually, I can't sew. 

But screw it, I thought it would look cute so whatever, apparently my determination is pretty strong when it wants to bloody be. But here is where I ran into my next problem. As well as celotape, we had no needle. Plenty of thread, but not a needle in sight! Crimany.

I did however for some odd reason, have a bit of metal wire, rather flexible, and a bunch of cocktail sticks (Which actually proved to be useless after all) and proceeded to create holes all down the edges of the bits of card the traditional way. Painstakingly. It was terrid.

terrid |ˈterə-rid| adjective a mix between horrid and terrible.

Step three motherfudgerrrr.

Now for the ICING OF THE CAKE YEAH.

I wanted to do something cute and flowery for mothers day, and also something to go with her present (I'll show you that in a minute) so I wanted to make some tissue paper flowers, as I had a lot of tissue paper. My first couple of attempts at the flowers were unsuccessful.

I then found a shape I was fond of. You should not it's not either of these, I'm pretty bad at photographing evidence of progress, I mostly take photos of my failure, I'm such a matyr.


Anyhow, I finally got a good shape and found out there was no glue in the house.

For those not keeping track that is:

• No cellotape
• No glue
• No needle
• No good pictures of progress.

It's disaster night over here!

I used blu tac. Which does the job but is super tempermental. 

My mum better love this.

Step four. 

decorationnnnnnn

This is the insideeeeee

Now for the present STEP Fuh fuh fuh FIVE.

I got my mum a pretty little rose from this website:

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/bookish/product/literary-paper-rose

CUTE RIGHT, YEAH.

I think it's pretty adorable.

Anyway, I hope these instructions help you make a wonderful homemade mothers day for your dear old mums. If that fails there's always breakfast in bed. Or petrol station roses?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ...                                                                                                                   Good luck sons and daughters.                

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Happy mothers day mummy, and happy reading butterballs.

I'm scared, but probably in a good way.

The Future.

I don't really like seeing those two words put together. 'The' on it's own isn't scary, and 'Future' makes me excited. All I can think about is hover packs and Fifth Element-style worlds. However the two toget-

The Future.

Oops, that scared you didn't it? Well, if you're anything like me it did.


The Future.

Well, that's approaching quickly isn't it!
(Well actually on this blog, that's as close as it will get as that's the biggest font.)



Recently I found out that I'm very susceptible to the phrase: "I don't know". But I never really mean that when I say it... I have discovered that I actually mean: "I don't want to know".


I don't want to listen to anyone else now, how do they know how I feel? That sounds kind of stroppy, but I do know they have good intentions... And if I get good advice, I take it, but odds are it won't change a decision made.


So right at this point, I know that whatever I choose is good. I can't regret what I do, because life is too damn short, and I will find a way to enjoy it wherever I am!

My favourite quote from (One of my) favourite film(s)!

HappyFUTURINGButterballs.

"Can't we do our own secret show?" "All our shows are secret shows"

I have not posted in a LONG time, and yes I feel bad, I really do.

But not as bad as I'm about to dear readers, for this is a shameless post of very little shame.

And I'm not even going to apologise.


LET ME SET THE SCENE:

I am sitting in my little room on my little laptop doing very little. The most exciting thing I'm planning to do is go out and buy a sandwich as it's 2pm and I'm very hungry. I'm listening to Dela -Johnny Clegg on repeat, and I am debating whether it's better to drive to my dads tonight, or tomorrow...

BUT THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

What I am here to do, is shamelessly plug my boyfriends band. Yeah, I said boyfriend. I'm so grown up, I have a car AND a boyfriend!

THEY DO FUNK AND THEY DON'T COMPLETELY SUCK! Was that an anti-rhyme?



Introducing: Jarvis and the Ministry...

Jordan: the singer/songwriter apparently. (Jarvis, and my filthy mudlood boyfriend)

Click on the pictures!If you want :)

 The guitarist, Marc. (He is French)

Ollie,The Bassist. He hates cats and you should hate him.

Danny, the drummer. Oh, he is far uglier in real life. Don't worry.

HAPPY BANDING BUTTERBALLS