Hello again! I know it has been a while, but exams are finally finished for another year, I have a new favourite band that you should all check out ∆ (Alt-J) they are very good if not a little dark, and I am feeling very mellow and calm.
Perhaps too mellow.
It was never going to happen, and now I know it never will. The understanding is there now.. I was scared, I was always scared. The feelings I had have not returned, and I feel they have been stolen along with your presence. I see you still, in my dreams, through those memories, throughout shattered mirrors and dusty pictures. You thrive and dance in the light. I do the same yet I am stuck. In snippets, I miss you and don't. You are growing and becoming beautiful, I feel my beauty fading, I become wretched and withered while you bloom. The loss is still there and it haunts me. I mourn what was never mine. I cry over an empty dream. I sigh over nothing but air.
I will forget and carry on. I will turn to the sun, and flourish as summer transforms me. But you still walk the ground, and I will not forget you, not when I see love and life around me, and ponder on what might have been.
Welcome the summer, and opportunities, as you never know in the passing days what you will regret.
Understand that this is not about one thing, it's about my feelings about life on the whole at the moment.
Happy reading butterballs.
